Following the enormous success of our first edition of The Band-Aid you knew a second chapter just had to be written.

The concept is simple: we take a disappointing movie and figure out five things that could have been done to improve upon it. They may not make the movie great, or even good, but they will create something of a healing process, like an adhesive bandage, hence The Band-Aid. When Johnson & Johnson sends up a cease and desist letter, I guess we will change it to The Adhesive Bandage.

Today I bring you what many consider to be the worst sequel of all time, "Caddyshack part deux".

Pay Rodney His Money
As we saw in "The Godfather Part Three", sometimes it really does matter to give someone the cash they ask for. The story is that Rodney Dangerfield would return to once again play Al Czervik if they would give him a tidy sum plus creative freedom on his part. Since the first movie, Rodney had developed a successful film career in such things as the underrated "Easy Money" and the big hit "Back To School". He asked for a big payday probably because he thought he had earned it, or he wanted them to say no. But the producers should have bit the bullet to get the talent back.

FMAD suggests: Like Robert Duvall's absence in the final film in "The Godfather" trilogy, Rodney Dangerfield not returning for "Caddyshack 2" because of money is inexcusable. Let him loose on this film and good things would have happened.

Move In Another Direction
They couldn't get almost anyone back from the first movie, so they decided to cast new people into the same role. Robert Stack as the stodgy country club snob, Jackie Mason as the wealthy blue-collar loudmouth, Dan Aykroyd as a crazy guy fighting against a gopher, and so on. Jonathan Silverman, the man who was shown up by Andrew McCarthy and a corpse in not one but TWO “Weekend At Bernie’s” movies is the new Danny Noonan. And it all ends with a two on two golf match where a golf course explosion gives our heroes the win. Oh wait: SPOILER ALERT. So not only are you going to make a sequel to an awesome movie but you’re going to essentially remake it. Blech.

FMAD suggests: If you INSIST on doing this, you can’t win by trying to outdo the original. Have a new plot to follow. Maybe emphasize the caddies (the initial plan for “Caddyshack”) or get away from the class warfare. Have some creativity, I know that may be tough for the movie industry to understand but try your best.

Cut Back The Supporting Cast
The original movie had some very memorable moments with its supporting cast but it never took away from the major players and story. Not so in "Caddyshack 2". Instead of one or two great scenes like we had with the Bishop, Lacy Underall, Spalding, etc. we get constant bombardment of insignificant people that add nothing. Why do we need Robert Stack plus his wife, son, and daughter all over the movie when they all represent the same exact thing? Why do we need the OMG-she's-so-out-of-his-league-except-in-Hollywood Dyan Cannon around to romance shlubby Jackie Mason? Why do I need to see the spastic crazy nutjob Randy Quaid as a spastic crazy nutjob lawyer? Who had Frank Pentangeli killed? Who gave the order?

FMAD suggests: Keep the supporting players down to a few situations and put the emphasis on the main characters so we can keep the plot going, such as it is.

Don't Do It
A proper sequel to one of the funniest movies in history may not have been so terrible but when you have one one original cast member return, and in a supporting role, you're putting yourself into the company of such duds as "Mannequin 2: On The Move". Ted Knight and writer Doug Kenney were gone, you wouldn't pay Rodney, and Bill Murray had something better to do. I would expect such jabroni-ness from a studio executive but shame on Harold Ramis for signing onto write such a disaster.

FMAD suggests: Scrap the idea altogether and if you want to make a golf comedy under another name, that might be better but you'll just be compared to "Caddyshack" regardless, which is a no-win scenario. I'm talking about the Kobayashi Maru of filmmaking here.

Seriously, Don't Do It
Instead, enjoy this but not at work without headphones. Warning: adult language.